I was asked recently how I keep such a stiff upper lip in times of stress and turmoil, and how I never seem sad or down anymore. Well the answer I gave wasn’t expected, or at least I don’t believe it was. You see, my answer was: I do still stress out at times, I do still feel sad and have bad days just like everyone else does – the only difference is that I don’t let them consume me or ruin my day. I make a conscious decision to stay positive and calm whenever I can. It’s not easy and it’s taken time for me to be able to control my actions and reactions to everyday misfortunes, but anyone can do the same with determination and a little self-belief. It’s all too easy to complain and feel sorry for ourselves, but it gets us nowhere. Life needn’t be a hindrance; life can be amazing if we truly want it to be, and we can live it on our terms.
If you feel you’re getting the sharp end of the stick and life is being a bitch, or if you’ve simply had a guts full of feeling low, why not get in contact? Together we can build a better tomorrow for all of us.
Geraint Rhys Benney Life Coach
Founder of Byw
We all have different needs, we all have different beliefs – in fact, I’d say we are all as different as can be, but are still the same in many ways. Who we are and how we live is a complicated issue. We all perceive life in various ways, as if living in different realities. Some of us find life’s journey difficult, some of us find it less so; it’s all down to perspective and perspectives can be changed. But whose perspective is right and whose is wrong? Well to be totally honest with you, I don’t believe there is a right or wrong way – we are all guessing. There is no big book of how to live our lives correctly, unless we take religious texts into consideration – but they are only the ideologies of a group of people who hold their own agenda and not a reliable ‘go to’ book. If there was a guide book in my mind, it would have a simple premise: be loving, be kind, be happy, be grateful, be confident and believe. We all know right from wrong, when we should and shouldn’t be doing something. I guess what I’m trying to say is, as humans, we have the ability to make choices in our lives, we can stay or we can go, we can say yes or no, we are not rooted to the spot. ‘Nothing is unless we make it so’ is a statement I truly believe in; it’s the fundamental principle of what I teach and how I live my life. I believe if we live a good, positive life then good things will come to us, and we learn to appreciate life for the beauty and opportunities it brings. Me and you, you and me, we can be who we want to be, and if we shoot our dreams a little too far out into the universe and we run out of time, at least we would have had an amazing journey along the way.
When life feels like it’s hit rock bottom, the only way for us to go is back up. Don’t see it as a bad thing, think of all the good that can come also. Life is a game and we can play along randomly, hoping we are playing correctly. We can give up and hide away from it all and pretend it’s not happening, or we can take charge, reinvent ourselves and start living by our own rules. Life isn’t easy and it isn’t fair, but letting it grind us down is a sure way of losing touch with who we are and who we really could be. Mindful Attraction offers us the chance of getting the ball rolling in a journey of self-improvement, self-awareness and burning belief that anything is possible with the power of you. Seeing people improve or change their lives gives me the drive to carry on with what I first thought was just an idea, and by sharing this idea I have touched so many people – not only my friends and family and my class attendances, but people from all over the wold that follow my blog and social media. Sometimes it’s easy to forget why we started something, but it’s ok as long as you remember that you did start and that our journey will not always be steady. Learning along the way is the key to remembering. Never give up on yourself, you are worth the effort.
Geraint Rhys Benney
Have you heard of the saying ‘if it feels right then it probably is’? The same goes for the negative version of this. Some call it our sixth sense others, call it premonition, and I like to call it my spider sense. To be honest it doesn’t matter what we call it, it’s real and we can use it to our advantage. Now reading these senses is not as easy as we may think and sometimes we can get our wires crossed; instead of listening to what’s happening to us, we tend to jump to conclusions and create undesirable outcomes. Our brain is a complicated place and really does have a mind of its own, the subconscious mind that is. Now when we start getting these feelings, the subconscious mind automatically tries to predict the outcome from previous experiences – usually negative ones – and when this happens we need to say stop, take stock of what it is we are feeling and go with it. It’s us, not our subconscious that holds this power of perception. I like to think that I’m pretty good with using my senses but it hasn’t always been that way. I have been as guilty as anyone for letting my subconscious influence how I react and meditation has been my biggest help in overcoming this. Something of a gift. In fact, a gift is exactly what I see it as because it’s changed my life. Everyone that knows me knows I believe that our words and feelings have the potential to shape our lives, giving us the ability to achieve our end goals or simply live happy lives. I also believe that by being aware of our senses, we can also use them to create positivity. We can do this by guiding them in the right direction and feeding the senses with positive action rather than letting the subconscious act out its usual negative reaction. We can choose to act and not react when the moment happens, it’s a simple choice that we can make. Try it out and see how it makes you feel. Next time your spider senses start to tingle, take a deep breath, hold it for ten seconds whilst looking forward to something positive arriving in your life, then let go and get on with the rest of your day without giving it a thought for 24 hours. After that time have a think of all the positive things that came along and give them the gratitude they deserve. Thank you for taking time to read my blog and feel free to look over my previous publications. If you’re interested in anything you find helpful in my blogs please feel free to contact me.
So we are now in 2017, it’s the season of resolutions and fresh starts for many of us, but how many of us actually succeed in the goals that we set ourselves? We all have good intentions in wanting change to happen, but in reality we also fear the outcome. Sometimes we give ourselves unrealistic time limits that all too quickly come around without us achieving what we set out to achieve, which ultimately persuades us it’s better to give up. It’s hard starting a new project or program of change – no matter how big or small it may be – and putting limits on ourselves before we start is a recipe for disaster. When starting something new, no matter what it is, we need to begin slowly, learn as much as we can and study the people that have gone before us and see how they got what they wanted. We need to find out everything we can and be prepared to fail over and over again whilst still never giving up. Life is full of challenges that help us grow, and it’s having the ability to stay strong during these times that eventually leads us to where we want to be. Life is tough but so are we; we can be anything we choose to be, we can be whoever we choose to be. Life isn’t predestined, we get to choose each step of our journey and we have full control if we choose to use it.
I moan, you moan, in fact, we all like to have a good old moan now and again – it helps us unwind and it lets us get things off our chests. Moaning can be good when done in moderation. If we let moaning become the main way we express ourselves, then life will undoubtedly become more or less unbearable to live. Why would we choose to live in a world that we find unbearable? I’m not judging people who choose to live this way; I find it more interesting than annoying, I’m intrigued to know if they are happy living like this and whether they want to change. I have written – and I’m writing again – about how we are what we think, because we are exactly that. We create the world we live in by the way we perceive it, we project our feelings and thoughts outward to create a reality that manifests into life. It’s not rocket science really, it’s common sense and I know you understand what I’m saying – it’s so simple a child can understand it. So we all understand it on an intellectual level, we see it and can agree in principle that ‘we are what we think’ makes total sense. It’s on an emotional level I think some find it difficult to accept. We are emotional beings by nature, and if not kept in check, our emotions can create a reality that can overshadow our actual reality, and we then start to perceive the new version as our own. There is a fantastic book by Professor Steve Peters called ‘The Chimp Paradox’ that explains how our brain works. You can find videos explaining Professor Peters theory on YouTube, please take some time to have a look (after finishing the blog of course) – I guarantee you will enjoy it. We all have the ability to change the way we perceive life, we can all flip it around and choose to make change; it’s not hard, what is hard, is sticking with our decision and seeing it through to its conclusion. We can carry on moaning and accept life on its terms or we can take charge and create a life on our terms. We can still have a moan, but let’s use it as a luxury item and give it the respect it deserves. If you’re already happy and content in your life then who am I to tell you to live differently? After all, it’s your life and your choice to live any way you see fit, the same as it’s my choice to live my life the way I feel inclined. We all have a choice, and that’s the point I’m trying to make. How we make the choices in our lives are relevant to our happiness. Life can be so much more than mundane! Life can be extraordinary, life can be adventurous, life can be ours to do whatever we want to do with it: life can be happiness.
By Geraint Rhys Benney