One of the hardest things you’ll ever do is look in the mirror and say, “That one was on me.”

No excuses.

No blaming.

No pointing fingers.

Just you. Owning it.

We’re not always taught how to do that.

We grow up learning how to defend ourselves, how to explain things away, how to justify our choices.

“It’s because of how I was raised.”

“It’s just the way I am.”

“They made me react like that.”

“I was stressed. Tired. Angry. Triggered.”

And maybe all that’s true.

Maybe you were pushed, provoked, misled, or left feeling like you had no other choice.

But there comes a point where none of that matters as much as what you choose to do next.

You’re not responsible for the things that were done to you.

But you are responsible for what you do with them.

And that’s where growth lives.

Not in being perfect, but in being accountable.

I’ve had to do this myself. More than once.

I’ve said things I wish I hadn’t. Hurt people. Reacted out of fear or pride or pain.

But every time I’ve faced it head-on, owned it, and made it right, I’ve grown.

And the relationships that were strong enough to handle that honesty? They’ve grown too.

Because taking responsibility doesn’t make you weak.

It makes you free.

What does it look like?

It looks like saying:

“I overreacted, and I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t show up the way I should have.”

“That was a choice I made, and I need to make it right.”

“I can see how I hurt you, and I’m willing to change.”

It’s about recognising the pattern before it becomes your personality.

It’s about choosing growth over pride.

It’s about being more committed to doing better than being right.

That’s what real maturity looks like.

Now, let me be clear, this isn’t about beating yourself up.

This isn’t about living in guilt.

This is about being brave enough to say, “I can do better than that.”

And then actually doing it.

No one gets it right all the time.

We all lash out. Fall short. Act on old wounds.

But the moment you stop blaming everyone else, you take back your power.

Because when it’s everyone else’s fault, you’re stuck.

But when you say, “Right, I played a part in that…”

That’s when things start to shift.

That’s when you get to grow up.

Heal.

Learn.

Do things differently.

You don’t need to be ashamed of your mistakes.

You just need to take responsibility for them.

It’s not about being flawless.

It’s about being real, and doing your best to be better.

Own your shit.

Or it’ll own you.

And remember,

keep smiling

Benney the Coach