Hi everyone, I apologize for not being here to post my words of wisdom this week, life really is amazing at the moment and has been keeping me busy with opening my own bistro and tea rooms in the small town where I grew up. If someone had told me even a month ago that I’d be running my own eatery, I’d probably have thought they were talking crazy, but here I am sitting in my kitchen working out the menu ready to take on a new challenge! I am excited about what to come over the next few months.
Don’t believe the hype
As you sit here reading this, your mind is probably telling you that you don’t need improvement: you are who you are and don’t go getting ideas above your station. It’s a part of our defensive mechanism, and is useful in keeping us safe from danger, but not so useful in helping us achieve our goals. In fact, it’s preventing us from doing so. We let our minds rule how we live. The constant chatter of total rubbish is defining who we are, and if we don’t take that control back then happiness and fulfillment will never truly be ours to experience. Take a step back and think of it this way: our person and our mind are two separate entities in one piece, and they can live in turmoil or in harmony, depending on how we react to them. I’m not saying that we are all schizophrenic, but I suppose it comes very close.
Our thoughts and feelings create the life we live, and by taking charge of our thoughts and feelings we can genuinely mould and sculpt a happier, more joyful, healthy future. But we have to really want it. We all have a story; a story we have made up to justify why we do things or why we don’t do things, a story that is usually full of excuses and self-pity, and we live it out accepting everything it says about our capabilities. But the story of our lives is just that – a story, and it can be rewritten anytime you want. It can take any shape, take any direction, because you are the writer and you have full control over what happens; all you need is the courage to believe in you, the courage to stand up to yourself and say ‘I can do that, I am more than this, I can achieve anything if I really want to’. We are the creators of our own destiny: it’s time we all woke up and started living.
I have been dipping in and out of the practice of meditation for a number of years, and have found it to be an amazing way of helping me take a step back and look at my life in a totally different way, opening my eyes and my soul. It’s helped me bring back clarity and peace to a very hectic, unhappy life that kept me from being myself. It’s been a long and difficult trek, let me tell you!
Mindfulness of meditation didn’t come easily to me. I went to class after class trying my hardest to connect with my subconscious, but the harder I tried, the further away I was getting from my goal. You see; it took me a long time to realize that mediation was a deeply personal experience, and no one can teach us how our mind works. We have to find our own way forward. I’d spent goodness knows how much money on classes run by people who are only showing me how they found the way, and I believe that the only people getting any kind of benefit were the paid teachers. Paid for leading me in the wrong direction. I’m not saying don’t go to classes, as they are a good place to learn the basics and meet like-minded people, but don’t go wasting time and money going on someone else’s journey. We all have the ability to meditate: each and every one of us. I believe we have had it since the day we were born, it’s just been bred out of us with education and TV and the hectic lives we lead. We are all spiritual beings with a connection to the universe, we are made of star dust the same as everything in existence, and are capable of great and magical things. All we need do is believe in our own ability to live. There are lots of free videos and articles on the internet that can help you get started; the information is only a fingertip away from you. There is no right or wrong way of meditating, only your way.
Here is a short Meditation video that will help you along the way.
Every morning when I awake before I even open my eyes, I tell myself I’m going to have an amazing day. From my first breath of consciousness I start my day with positivity and a will to succeed in anything that day may throw at me. Having belief in our own abilities is such an important factor in us living happy, fulfilled lives. I’m not talking arrogance, no no, that’s not the way forward; I’m taking about the belief that you are not better than anyone else but you are becoming better than you were the day before. I believe that we are all equals, each and every one of us and that the only person we need to compete against is ourself. By telling myself that I can be anything I want to become. That I can do anything I want to do and that the universe is at my side all the way, helping me create my life and its wonders. It gives me a feeling inside that nobody can take away from me, it gives me the strength to try new things, it gives me the courage to face my greatest fears, but ultimately, it gives me back control of my own life. Whether we are looking for a new job, a new romance, or a fresh start, we must believe we are good enough to receive what it is we actually want. How can a new boss employ you if you are not confident in yourself? How do we expect a new lover to give us love or respect if we have none for ourselves? How do we expect to have a happy fulfilled life if we don’t think we are good enough? I believe that we all have self-belief – each and every one of us – and all we need to do is learn how to use it.
How many of us have been told we are not good enough and that we should try something a little bit easier? Something a little less challenging? Something a little more ‘us’? I know I have, on more than one occasion, and for the majority of my life I listened, I agreed, I let other people tell me what I was able and not able to achieve: and I was miserable.
It’s my life! it’s my choice! it’s my responsibility! Three very important statements that have changed the way I live my life. Everything in our lives is controlled by US! Me and you, we have full control of the cockpit and the engines are running. We can go anywhere and achieve anything as long as we give ourselves clear and distinct destinations. We also need to be aware that we don’t stray off the path, that we don’t get distracted and that obstacles can be overcome. Having realistic goals is important: “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, and taking baby steps is the key. Wanting to be the best is good and something we should all strive to achieve, but we need to learn our craft before becoming an expert, and in doing this we can achieve anything we want.
I use a number of affirmations throughout my day to affirm that i have the life that I want. I also watch and listen to inspirational speeches and videos by my mentors and life heroes. I read blogs and books that inspire life-improvement and growth in not only self-belief, but also on health and well-being and mindfulness. We should be thankful for what we already have, and not sad or bitter for what we don’t have. By giving gratitude for our health and wellbeing, and having faith in our own ability to love our selves, by using the great gifts that we already hold within us, we can shape the universe we live in. All we need do now is use them to make our dreams reality.
Everyone deserves happiness, and it starts with us, individually, to make sure that we open our minds to the powers within. Yes, powers – pure magical powers that can change our way of life, giving us all the happiness we desire It’s all there, ready and waiting for us to use. I used to let life beat me down. I used to take all the bad things that happened in my life personally; I was a bearer of my own misfortune. By changing the way I thought and spoke about myself, I learned that it was my reactions to the situations in my life – and not the situations themselves – that where affecting me. You see, I learned that everything we do and everything we think, sculpts our future: our thoughts actually become things. If we spend our days talking about everything that makes us unhappy or that annoys us, that’s what we are going to reflect back at us. I know what you’re thinking: “don’t talk rubbish!”, but you really need to sit and take a moment to reflect on what I’m saying. Our words and actions affect our reality. Think about it; if we talk negatively then it’s going to manifest itself, it’s all we are attracting back into our life. I’m not talking witchcraft or voodoo, I’m talking reality, I’m talking results. By consciously talking and acting positively, our life and lifestyle will change positively. It’s basically common sense. Cut out gossip and talking about others, start talking about what you want out of life and not what you don’t want. Through our ability to think and feel, we have dominion over all creation – why should we live an ordinary life when we could be living an extraordinary one? Happiness – true happiness – comes from within, and it can’t be bought, it can’t be given, it’s a present we can give ourselves everyday. All we have to do to harness it is believe.
Being a happier, confident, more grateful human being is something I strive for. It used to be fame and fortune, but as I have found out, without happiness it’s pointless. Without true, deep-down happiness, we just stumble through life looking for something that’s right under our noses, whilst in the meantime we just fill it with bitterness and jealousy, wanting what others have. We hope it will give us fulfilment and it never does, it just drives us to want more. Not that there is anything wrong with wanting more, or to better ourselves; that’s why Byw is here, to help us all achieve such a goal. However, we sometimes forget what real happiness is and where it comes from. Being happy isn’t about what we have, it’s about what we don’t have. Being happy is a feeling inside of us, being happy is about being the real You.
Say you wake up tomorrow morning and there’s a parcel waiting for you on the doorstep. You take it in and when you open it, you find a brand new bottle of happiness – all for you. A fresh start away from everything that’s ever made you sad or unhappy. What do you do with it? Do you take the top off and guzzle it down until its empty? Do you take a few sips to see if it works? Or, do you put it on a shelf for a rainy day? The majority of us will put it on the shelf. Why? We are afraid of change. It’s easier for us to feel sorry for ourselves than to feel happy. We fit in, we don’t want to rock the boat – imagine what people would think!!
Who cares?
Really, who cares what people think? It’s not your life they’re living: they have their own life, with their own problems and issues. They really have no power over you, only the power you allow them to have by caring about their opinion. I’m not saying don’t take others into consideration – far from it. What I am saying, is only you can create your own happiness. It’s there, deep inside you, waiting to be released; all you need to do is set it free.
Byw.
Benney the Coach 