life coach

Starting something New

Apologies for not being around for a while friends, but my new venture has been taking up a lot of my precious time – I haven’t been slacking. You can usually find me on my Instagram page ‘bywlifesculpting’, please feel free to follow me there also.
Starting something new can be overwhelming, but also exciting; it all depends on how we perceive the situation we are currently in. The majority of people fail within the first six months of starting any kind of new venture or relationship. Even giving up smoking or starting a diet can be a goal we rarely achieve. Is it that we are weak-willed? Is it that we are doomed to fail? Or, is it we simply try to run before we can walk? If you have read any of my previous posts, you’d know that I believe we can achieve anything we truly want to; it’s a hard hill to climb and the chances are that we will fall flat on our faces before we get our balance. But – by having the courage to get back up, wipe your self down and admit that we still have a lot to learn and that we are always a pupil of life, we can go on and achieve great things. Failure is a word that’s thrown around far too much when we don’t quite get the expected outcome of any chosen goal or dream, but nobody fails, not on my watch. Doing the same thing over and over again whilst expecting a different outcome is a habit a lot if us fall into. It’s not because we are stupid or blind, it’s because we don’t like admitting we are wrong. We all like to think we are knowledgeable in what it is we want but when it’s laid out in front of us it can be overwhelming and frightening. As long as we keep a level head, take each hurdle with an open mind and the attitude that the ordinary learn once in a while, but the extraordinary learn once everyday; anything is possible and dreams can come true. Have a wonderful week everyone, we’ll talk again soon.

Reach For The Stars 

We all have dreams and aspirations, but the majority of the population gives up on them without even considering what they could have accomplished if they had followed them. We can’t rewind time and we have to be realistic about what it is we want to achieve. Amongst other things, I wanted to be a BMX champion and a combat field surgeon as a child, slightly out of reach today, but only due to my ever-increasing age – not my ability to achieve anything I truly want to achieve, I simply grew up and my dreams changed. I see people regularly who for one reason or another, have not only given up on their dreams, but also life. They are unhappy, plodding along and making excuses about what could have been, holding on to their facade of not caring whilst wishing things would change. I know I may sound a bit preachy and a little snobby when I talk about the ‘people’, but it’s not an ‘I’m better than them’ scenario. I talk about them as I truly feel for them; pity gets us nowhere, I have more of a desire to help these people achieve happiness and fulfilment in their lives. I want to help give these people the opportunity to have self-value and worth. I want to show people we are all equal no matter what our background is, regardless of gender or the colour of our skin, we are all made of the same thing, stardust! We all have a bit of magic and talent inside us, all we need do is let it out and let it show the world and universe what we have to offer.

We are never too old to try new things and take chances. Take for instance Eleanor Cunningham of Howes Cave, New York, who took up skydiving at the age of 90, or Smoky Dawson – an Australian country music performer who at the age 92 years and 156 days released a collection of original songs in an album entitled “Homestead of My Dreams” making him the oldest person to release a new album and win numerous new artist awards. If you truly believe in something, then fight: fight until you can’t walk then start crawling if you have to. Never take no for an answer if you feel inside that you have the ability to achieve your set goal then you truly can. We live in a negative world with people telling us to aim low, disappointed in our lives and being judged for our social circumstances, and sadly we take it all in like a sponge soaking up water. Well my friends I’m telling you now, each and every one of us is special and it’s time we stopped trying to fit in and started to stand out.

Life story 

We all have a story, a story we believe governs how we live our lives. Each and every day we plod along, following its plot line without question, just hoping it’s going to have a happy ending. But what if I was to say that your story was totally under your control, that nothing is predestined and that you could pick up a pencil and start a new chapter as of today? As I said in my last blog, I have recently opened a bistro and tearooms, which I can honestly say was not something that I was destined to do. If you haven’t already guessed, I strongly believe you can do or achieve anything you truly desire: we all have the ability to create an amazing life for ourselves with the power of belief. Opportunities come and go, leaving us sitting around wondering what could have been and considering the ‘what ifs’. I know nothing about running a bistro – nothing at all – but a took a chance. Yes I can cook, but – as the opening day proved – I’m not a cook and I found out quickly that this isn’t going to be easy. I was out of my depth. Having closed the door at the end of that day I wasn’t disheartened or disappointed in myself, in fact I’d never felt so alive. Something had woken my taste buds and I liked it. Putting myself in a position that made me not only uncomfortable, but almost vulnerable, I had to stand up and fight. Not only for an idea, but now a dream to make it a successful little enterprise.

I know where my strengths lie: I’m a front of house person. I love people and I enjoy building relationships with the customers, which I believe is just as important as good food. Talking about good food, I have found myself an amazing chef that shares my ambition, and together I truly believe we can turn this little bistro into something to be proud of. I have a lot to learn and I’m excited about the unknown; its a whole new world I’ve entered and I’m about to write the next chapter of my life within it – and I’m going to make sure that it has a happy ending. How am I going to do this? I’ll tell you how; by believing It will be.

We all have the power over our lives, and we can use this power to design our lives in whatever way we want. Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice.

Busy times

Hi everyone, I apologize for not being here to post my words of wisdom this week, life really is amazing at the moment and has been keeping me busy with opening my own bistro and tea rooms in the small town where I grew up. If someone had told me even a month ago that I’d be running my own eatery, I’d probably have thought they were talking crazy, but here I am sitting in my kitchen working out the menu ready to take on a new challenge! I am excited about what to come over the next few months.

Time for change 

Changing old habits are hard, I know. I have a million of them and each one is fighting for survival, wondering if they are next on my hit list of self-improvement. I’d just like to inform them now, in front of witnesses – that’s you guys – that I’m willing to negotiate. Even the thought of change can scare or put people off trying, so let’s try and approach the subject in a different way. Let’s not change, lets adapt. Let’s use what we already have and go on an adventure, let’s set tasks for our habits and use them to our advantage – keeping everyone happy. Self-improvement isn’t hard, it really isn’t: what’s hard is fighting with our past, but that’s a subject for another day. Ok, starting from today I want you to give your old habits a choice: they can leave, or stay and grow with you. Either way, life is going to improve with or without them. You are now in charge and it’s going to be fun from here on in.

Let’s start with gratitude. Yes you read correctly, let’s start a habit of gratitude for the next 40 days from the time you wake up in the morning until you fall asleep at night. Fill your day with gratitude: give gratitude for every possible situation that comes from being alive and seeing the sun rise and set – before you know it, gratitude will be a part of your normal day. The same principle goes for happiness, love, confidence, and respect, if we spend a few minutes or even seconds throughout our day working on these habits, our lives will improve fantastically – and all with minimal effort. All it takes is awareness of what’s happening throughout your day, instead of drifting aimlessly with no meaning. We have the ability to be whatever we want to be, all we need to do is work positively with our habits to create more of what we want and less of what we don’t. Remember; energy flows where attention goes.

Don’t believe the hype 

Don’t believe the hype

As you sit here reading this, your mind is probably telling you that you don’t need improvement: you are who you are and don’t go getting ideas above your station. It’s a part of our defensive mechanism, and is useful in keeping us safe from danger, but not so useful in helping us achieve our goals. In fact, it’s preventing us from doing so. We let our minds rule how we live. The constant chatter of total rubbish is defining who we are, and if we don’t take that control back then happiness and fulfillment will never truly be ours to experience. Take a step back and think of it this way: our person and our mind are two separate entities in one piece, and they can live in turmoil or in harmony, depending on how we react to them. I’m not saying that we are all schizophrenic, but I suppose it comes very close.

Our thoughts and feelings create the life we live, and by taking charge of our thoughts and feelings we can genuinely mould and sculpt a happier, more joyful, healthy future. But we have to really want it. We all have a story; a story we have made up to justify why we do things or why we don’t do things, a story that is usually full of excuses and self-pity, and we live it out accepting everything it says about our capabilities. But the story of our lives is just that – a story, and it can be rewritten anytime you want. It can take any shape, take any direction, because you are the writer and you have full control over what happens; all you need is the courage to believe in you, the courage to stand up to yourself and say ‘I can do that, I am more than this, I can achieve anything if I really want to’. We are the creators of our own destiny: it’s time we all woke up and started living.

Meditation 

I have been dipping in and out of the practice of meditation for a number of years, and have found it to be an amazing way of helping me take a step back and look at my life in a totally different way, opening my eyes and my soul. It’s helped me bring back clarity and peace to a very hectic, unhappy life that kept me from being myself. It’s been a long and difficult trek, let me tell you!

​Mindfulness of meditation didn’t come easily to me. I went to class after class trying my hardest to connect with my subconscious, but the harder I tried, the further away I was getting from my goal. You see; it took me a long time to realize that mediation was a deeply personal experience, and no one can teach us how our mind works. We have to find our own way forward. I’d spent goodness knows how much money on classes run by people who are only showing me how they found the way, and I believe that the only people getting any kind of benefit were the paid teachers. Paid for leading me in the wrong direction. I’m not saying don’t go to classes, as they are a good place to learn the basics and meet like-minded people, but don’t go wasting time and money going on someone else’s journey. We all have the ability to meditate: each and every one of us. I believe we have had it since the day we were born, it’s just been bred out of us with education and TV and the hectic lives we lead. We are all spiritual beings with a connection to the universe, we are made of star dust the same as everything in existence, and are capable of great and magical things. All we need do is believe in our own ability to live. There are lots of free videos and articles on the internet that can help you get started; the information is only a fingertip away from you. There is no right or wrong way of meditating, only your way.

Here is a short Meditation video that will help you along the way.

Taking Charge

Every morning when I awake before I even open my eyes, I tell myself I’m going to have an amazing day. From my first breath of consciousness I start my day with positivity and a will to succeed in anything that day may throw at me. Having belief in our own abilities is such an important factor in us living happy, fulfilled lives. I’m not talking arrogance, no no, that’s not the way forward; I’m taking about the belief that you are not better than anyone else but you are becoming better than you were the day before. I believe that we are all equals, each and every one of us and that the only person we need to compete against is ourself. By telling myself that I can be anything I want to become. That I can do anything I want to do and that the universe is at my side all the way, helping me create my life and its wonders. It gives me a feeling inside that nobody can take away from me, it gives me the strength to try new things, it gives me the courage to face my greatest fears, but ultimately, it gives me back control of my own life. Whether we are looking for a new job, a new romance, or a fresh start, we must believe we are good enough to receive what it is we actually want. How can a new boss employ you if you are not confident in yourself? How do we expect a new lover to give us love or respect if we have none for ourselves? How do we expect to have a happy fulfilled life if we don’t think we are good enough? I believe that we all have self-belief – each and every one of us – and all we need to do is learn how to use it.

How many of us have been told we are not good enough and that we should try something a little bit easier? Something a little less challenging? Something a little more ‘us’? I know I have, on more than one occasion, and for the majority of my life I listened, I agreed, I let other people tell me what I was able and not able to achieve: and I was miserable.

It’s my life! it’s my choice! it’s my responsibility! Three very important statements that have changed the way I live my life. Everything in our lives is controlled by US! Me and you, we have full control of the cockpit and the engines are running. We can go anywhere and achieve anything as long as we give ourselves clear and distinct destinations. We also need to be aware that we don’t stray off the path, that we don’t get distracted and that obstacles can be overcome. Having realistic goals is important: “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, and taking baby steps is the key. Wanting to be the best is good and something we should all strive to achieve, but we need to learn our craft before becoming an expert, and in doing this we can achieve anything we want.
I use a number of affirmations throughout my day to affirm that i have the life that I want. I also watch and listen to inspirational speeches and videos by my mentors and life heroes. I read blogs and books that inspire life-improvement and growth in not only self-belief, but also on health and well-being and mindfulness. We should be thankful for what we already have, and not sad or bitter for what we don’t have. By giving gratitude for our health and wellbeing, and having faith in our own ability to love our selves, by using the great gifts that we already hold within us, we can shape the universe we live in. All we need do now is use them to make our dreams reality.