mindfulness
Strive to Be
I get asked why I do what I do, and what I get out of it quite often; when I get asked this question I feel proud to answer. I do what I do because I choose to. I choose to live a happy, fulfilled life on my terms because I have the self-belief that what I do is the right thing to do. What I get out of it is self-fulfilment. I have the ability to make a difference in the world, it’s who I am, it’s what makes me feel alive, it’s my passion. There are no excuses or barriers: if we want something hard enough we will fight until our last breath to achieve it. If I can inspire, help or bring positivity and hope to one person each day, then I have achieved what I have set out to do. I strive to make a difference, to give hope and show that everyone – and I mean everyone – can become and achieve whatever they set their mind on. Life is a maze and we can easily get lost within it, but we are not alone, and if we don’t panic and don’t let doubt set in, we can follow in the footsteps of the people who came before us. We can create a clearer path for those who are to follow. I started Byw as a tool for self-improvement. My initial plan was for me to use it to help myself overcome problems and sculpt a better existence( one where I choose how I experience life, and I choose to be positive. Byw has grown – and is still growing – into something more than I could have imagined. It’s given me a platform to share what I have learned with the world and the world has responded with gratitude and appreciation. Admittedly, I still have a lot to learn and a long way to travel before I reach my destination, but I know that along the way I get to be part of something amazing. If I’m able to share the amazing things then I will, I strive to be, so you can too.
By
Geraint Rhys Benney
We are not alone
Over the last few months I have given a number of talks on mindfulness and the law of attraction, and how they can transform our lives along with our self-belief. I explain how we can – with these tools – make a life that’s far more rewarding and satisfying by sculpting life on our own terms. After talking with colleagues and participants of my talks, I decided to start a mindfulness self-help group where participants share their mindful practices with each other, learning – as a group – how to share their experiences. Building a community of like-minded people is a quest that is worthwhile in my opinion. I have found over the time I have been practicing mindfulness that it’s not just a personal thing, mindfulness can be a topic that can have far reaching effects when used correctly; by bringing people together and talking about things with an open mind, with no expectations or bias. We all know that we live in a world full of chaos, but it’s nice to know that we also live in a world of compassion and understanding. It’s nice to know that there are others out there who think the same as us, and want to take action in making it a better world by trying to make positive change – starting with ourselves. We are all in existence together, we all have different outlooks and opinions, but we all know good from bad, what’s right and what’s wrong, and if we can build more mindful communities then maybe, just maybe we can alter the negative manifesto that is currently the norm. My group is still in its early stages but I have big expectations for its growth in the future months – only time will tell. On a personal level the last year has been a magnificent journey of enlightenment and self-growth. My eyes have been opened and my understanding of how my ‘self’ and life work together has changed positively. I am life and life is me: it’s how we interact with one another that’s important. If I can pass on any message of hope to anyone out there who feels lost and alone, then that message is, “you are not alone”. Nobody needs to be alone. We may have to change, we may have to alter our beliefs, we may have to admit we were wrong, but we never need be alone. 
Life as a Cat
This morning, I sat and just stared at my cat as he lay there sleeping after a hardy meal. I started to imagine what his life is like, how does he see the world? I know he’s a very independent being who likes his own way and isn’t afraid to show his disapproval of anything he dislikes, but he’s also very loving when he wants to be. He’s fed, watered, has a roof over his head and he comes and goes as he pleases, in fact, he’s very similar to my son. As life goes he’s got it pretty easy – the cat that is, not my son. No bills to pay, no responsibilities, and he gets to bring home birds whenever he wants. In all seriousness, I started to wonder if I wanted to live his life. Not that I want to bring birds home, no, no, I’m a happily taken thank you. What I mean is the freedom of living. It’s a question that really made me think. Yes, to live a life of total freedom sounds amazing, but let’s really think about it. Taking no responsibility for anything can have damaging effects on our psyche, it can take away our choices, our chance to learn, even our ability to love. Responsibility is what separates us from animals; as humans we have the responsibility to not only look after ourselves but each other. I know my cat doesn’t care about me, all he cares about is me feeding him. I know he visits other homes around me also to be fed, he has other options and I am under no illusion that he is affectionate with others – not just with me – and I’m ok with that because that’s the freedom of being a cat and that’s what he is: a cat. Who am I to judge? I wonder, is there a false illusion of freedom and what it can bring in the world? Has it lost its meaning? Freedom of living a free life shouldn’t be about freedom to do what we want, it should be about freedom of the soul. The only true way of being free is from within; when we find inner freedom and peace, everything else kind of falls into place – our appreciation of life, our ability to love and a belief in ourselves. I don’t think we as humans are ready for the kind of freedom that my cat has, not until we learn to appreciate the freedoms we already hold within us. Freedom is supposed to be about feeling free, and as humans we can’t agree to disagree on anything, we have to prove we are right about everything. We are sometimes more animal than animals, and maybe we as humans are not the species who have evolved, maybe it’s my cat and his fellow animals. Maybe they have evolved to the point of inner and outer freedom, maybe my cat does take responsibility; who am I to say who’s responsible and who’s not? Maybe, just maybe, we are the ones who are the primitive species in this universe and if so, its time we stared thinking instead of just acting.Not one of my usual blogs I’ll admit, but I thought it was one I had to write. When we are looking for answers we tend to look outwards for the questions, when we should be looking within. I truly believe that happiness comes from within and when we become comfortable with ourselves and let go of our insecurities and fears, that’s when we become totally free. Freedom isn’t about doing as we please; freedom is about having the ability to dream and then have the belief to live those dreams.
Geraint Rhys Benney
Old and the New
In order to start over we have to let go of our past beliefs: conflict between new and old can be one hell of a battle, with past beliefs being the strongest of the two. Changing can be hard work – that goes for most things that need change, and it takes time, effort and patience to do anything correctly. Our past beliefs have an upper hand over our new ones because they already know us, they know how we work, they have a direct line to our fears and doubts and call them up as soon as they see competition on the horizon. To get behind the new guy we need to play clever; if we truly want to change then we need to be willing to stay strong, be bold and take charge of conflicting situations between the old and the new. We need to show that the new is not a threat but an ally, that it’s not replacing, but upgrading an out of date view of life. We feel loyal to old beliefs because they have always been there for us, they know us and we know them, but they may not always be serving us well. We need to learn to adapt if we are to grow as humans. As children we take on the beliefs of our parents or guardians, at school we take on the beliefs of teachers and government bodies. As we get older we start taking on the beliefs of our social groups and the media, it never stops. When was the last time we stopped and analysed our beliefs? Seriously, when did you last stop and think whether your beliefs are something that may be holding you back and keeping you from achieving your goals? Do you believe in what you live your life by? I asked myself this question and if I’m totally, honest with you, I didn’t like my answer. I had no true beliefs of my own, they were all someone else’s. Life is all about experiences – good and bad – and it’s through our experiences that we should be building our beliefs and not our beliefs dictating our experiences.
Written by Geraint Rhys Benney.
It
Why Mindful-Attraction? Why combine mindfulness and the law of attraction? What a good question if I do say so myself, so I shall tell you. Having mindfulness in our lives has all its own benefits for self-improvement, and it’s commonly practiced around the world with astounding results. The Law of Attraction (as its commonly called) – if practiced with a mindful mind – can change not only how we look at the world, but also how we view ourselves. I don’t need to explain how they both work as I have done so many times in past blogs, all you need do is take a look. But what I will explain is why I teach them as one entity. I believe everyone has the right to live a happy life, a life of hope and prosperity, and I also believe that Mindful-Attraction can offer us this opportunity. Life can be hard, we have never been given a rule book on how to live it, some of us have learn how to deal with it and there are some that have found it a hard slog: I put myself in this category. I once believed that life was out to get me, that it was in control of me, that I was at its mercy, and I’m not ashamed to say it: I was wrong. I was wrong. Mindfulness gave me the courage and belief in my self, it taught me that life is not out to get me and that I was in control of my thoughts and not them in control of me. The law of attraction has given me an open door to my future, the law of attraction has given me a belief that I can – if I truly want something, I can achieve it. With hard work and vision anything is possible. I understand that what you have just read is hard to take in, but what have you got to lose in trying? Anything worth having never comes easily, we have to work hard at it if we are to be successful and the best thing we can work on is ourselves. The reason I teach Mindful-Attraction is because I want to share “It” with you. You deserve to know what you are capable of achieving. “It” is you and you are “It”, and if you need “it”, it’s always there for you. The only thing we need to do to learn, is to believe in “It”. I believe in you, you should too.
One to One
Group learning is great, it helps us realise that we are not alone, there are others out there who feel the same as us and we can share experiences and techniques with one another – helping each other, supporting each other in reaching our goals. Whereas one-to-one is a far more personal setting that offers an in-depth look at our past, our present and our future. Opening up to the reality of who we are and who we are capable of becoming. We are all looking for something different, we all have different needs and dreams and fears. In one-to-one everything we discuss is private and confidential, nothing will be discussed outside of a session. What you decide to disclose will be considered private and kept this way at all times. Mindful-attraction has the ability to change you, it -alongside a clear goal – can transform everything around you for the good. I don’t believe in failure, I believe that we learn, I believe that life is about responsibility and that when we open up to ourselves, then life will open up with us. If you are interested in working one-to-one, or have any questions, please feel free to contact me at any time.
Imagine
Imagine that you woke up tomorrow morning and you find out that everything you wish for had come true. You are Bruce Almighty. Imagine it, and consider – what would you do? Remember that everything you wish for has consequences, so if you wish for world peace it could cause an economic effect in many countries. The same goes for solving hunger. We would have to start off carefully with kid gloves; it’s a big responsibility to have the power of creation in the palm of your hands, but with this power you could have the life of your dreams. So how about for safety reasons we say that as a beginner we have to kind of earn the respect of the power, by showing it that we are prepared. The choices we make can be made with a clear and decisive mind, without prejudice and with an honest soul.Believing that you now have this power what do you do?How do you start? What do you wish for?
Interesting isn’t it, having that kind of opportunity laid in front of you? Every choice you now make has consequences – good and bad – that could affect the world around you. Would you be willing to make sacrifices, take responsibility, become a better you to hold this power? Would you take it seriously enough and give it the time it takes to learn how to use it with skill?
Well, imagine again that I tell you that you hold that power already…you, yes you. Hear me out, I’m being serious for once. I can’t think of a better way of explaining The Law of Attraction than how I just did. The life we lead is determined by the choices we make, this is a true fact whether we want to believe it or not and it works whether you believe in it or not. But by taking responsibility for our actions and choices we can shape a future of amazing possibilities. The proof is out there, I’m not going to rabbit on about it, I don’t need to – all you have to do is try it for yourself. Start off small and grow big – one thing at a time – and I promise I won’t say I told you so. You can stop imagining now, it’s time to start believing.
The Next Step
Moving forward, taking the next step to fulfilling our goals can be a little overwhelming, if not down right scary, and its natural to feel this way – it’s all part of stepping into the unknown. It’s our defence system kicking in. If we feel able or competent in what we do then there shouldn’t be any reason why we can’t move forward and grow without any fuss or hassle – as long as we are always willing to keep learning along the way. Recently giving my first workshop and talk has given me a refreshed quest to share the skills and techniques that I have learned and found helpful and effective. For a first time giving a talk and basic workshop I was unsurprisingly nervous – and I think it showed slightly – but thankfully I was treated kindly by the friendly participants. It went much better than I expected but still needs work on presentation and structure. Understanding that improvement happens with practice and I am already planning my next few sessions in the next month or so, taking along the lessons I learned from the first; structure being the main lesson. I look forward to meeting you all sometime in the future at one of my talks and remember: each step we make and each move forward is making us stronger and more capable as long as we are willing to keep an open mind and keep learning.
Mindful Music
I love listening to music; all kinds from pop to classical, rock to opera- I have no prejudice, if it’s a good song or track then it’s on my playlist. Shuffle can be amusing or annoying depending on who you ask. Anyway, the reason I’m talking about music is because music has the ability to heal, the ability change our mood, the ability to motivate. Music can be – and is – a powerful tool for self-help when used mindfully. We all have a song that reminds us of a time, a place, a situation: they can make us sad as well as happy, emotional or ecstatic. Music can literally touch our soul. Mindful music isn’t just restricted to dolphins singing or pan pipes – we can use any music to be mindful, although hardcore death metal I haven’t quite mastered. It’s easier to start with a song you are familiar with, obviously something that’s an easy listen. Get your headphones on, plug in and sit back, and before you start make sure you are nice and comfortable. OK, ready? Take a few deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth, keeping your breathing steady throughout the experience and it’s time to press play and begin. The real trick here isn’t actually listening to the song or track, but to actually feel it. This is why using headphones is helpful as it’s just you and the music; loose yourself in it – please give it a try. I use this method often, it’s one that can help if you are constantly in a busy environment. It helps you step away for a few minutes or so. So go on then, give it a try let and me know how you get on. Allow yourself to explore every aspect of the track. Give your full attention, give yourself permission to climb inside the track and dance along with the sound waves. The idea is to simply listen and feel it, to become fully entwined with the composition without any kind of judgment of the lyrics, genre, artist, instruments or language. Please enjoy.
Benney the Coach 