Moany, Moany

I moan, you moan, in fact, we all like to have a good old moan now and again – it helps us unwind and it lets us get things off our chests. Moaning can be good when done in moderation. If we let moaning become the main way we express ourselves, then life will undoubtedly become more or less unbearable to live. Why would we choose to live in a world that we find unbearable? I’m not judging people who choose to live this way; I find it more interesting than annoying, I’m intrigued to know if they are happy living like this and whether they want to change. I have written – and I’m writing again – about how we are what we think, because we are exactly that. We create the world we live in by the way we perceive it, we project our feelings and thoughts outward to create a reality that manifests into life. It’s not rocket science really, it’s common sense and I know you understand what I’m saying – it’s so simple a child can understand it. So we all understand it on an intellectual level, we see it and can agree in principle that ‘we are what we think’ makes total sense. It’s on an emotional level I think some find it difficult to accept. We are emotional beings by nature, and if not kept in check, our emotions can create a reality that can overshadow our actual reality, and we then start to perceive the new version as our own. There is a fantastic book by Professor Steve Peters called ‘The Chimp Paradox’ that explains how our brain works. You can find videos explaining Professor Peters theory on YouTube, please take some time to have a look (after finishing the blog of course) – I guarantee you will enjoy it. We all have the ability to change the way we perceive life, we can all flip it around and choose to make change; it’s not hard, what is hard, is sticking with our decision and seeing it through to its conclusion. We can carry on moaning and accept life on its terms or we can take charge and create a life on our terms. We can still have a moan, but let’s use it as a luxury item and give it the respect it deserves. If you’re already happy and content in your life then who am I to tell you to live differently? After all, it’s your life and your choice to live any way you see fit, the same as it’s my choice to live my life the way I feel inclined. We all have a choice, and that’s the point I’m trying to make. How we make the choices in our lives are relevant to our happiness. Life can be so much more than mundane! Life can be extraordinary, life can be adventurous, life can be ours to do whatever we want to do with it: life can be happiness.
By Geraint Rhys Benney

If we don’t ask

If we want something from someone, we generally ask if it’s possible to have it, and more often than not, we get what we ask for. If we don’t ask, then we are not going to receive. Everyone knows that I talk to the universe on a regular basis, asking for things to manifest into my life, and i genuinely get what I ask for every time – even if I don’t recognise that I have. Sometimes I don’t ask clearly, sometimes I’m vague, but over time and out of nowhere I still get what I desired. Our dreams, ambitions and goals don’t always appear in our lives like we wish them to; they can be disguised or come at us from a direction we would not expect them to, so what we need is to be aware of them. I have a lot on in my work and personal life at the moment, and I have been asking the universe for ways to help me out. Being busy, I sometimes miss out on the opportunities that come my way because I’m not looking out for them, even when they’re right under my nose. For instance, I have been asking for help with Byw, help in communicating my message to the general public, then came along a job as a tour guide at the Royal Mint – explaining the history and the process of manufacturing money. So how I hear you asking, is that helpful with Byw? I’ll tell you how: because I’m now interacting with up to 125+ people a day, something I’ve not done in the past – well, not as myself anyway. Holding the group of individuals in the palm of my hand and having them hang on my every word has given me the experience and confidence to now stand up and talk about the things that matter to me. Putting myself in a position that makes me feel uncomfortable and nervous is what I needed to shake off my insecurities, and now standing up and publicly speaking is like water off a ducks back. I do it without thinking, it comes naturally to me. When the opportunity came along to work as a host/tour guide, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to take it, I wasn’t sure how it fitted in with my life plan, I wasn’t sure why this opportunity was presenting itself to me. 3 months later and the reasons have become apparent; I am now able – and now more than willing – to stand and talk in front of a crowd, no matter the size. May it be in front of one or in front of ten million people, as long as I know my subject, then there should be no fear, only excitement and anticipation. Lessons come at us in many shapes and sizes, they are usually sent to us because we have asked for them in some way; it’s recognising them when they appear that’s important.
By Geraint Rhys Benney

Fantastic.

‘Have a fantastic day’ is something I’ve told almost everyone I have come across on my travels today – and I mean it. I genuinely want them to enjoy their day and for it to be fantastic. The words we use have an effect on not only ourselves, but also the people we connect with daily. We can make someone’s day by simply being kind or thoughtful towards them. I’ve covered this subject a number of times over the last year, but I never get tired of reminding everyone that our words matter; what we talk about and the words we use can shape our day, can make it positive or negative – and we have the power to choose. You can’t disagree with me when I say that negative language will undoubtedly create a negative atmosphere: it’s common sense, so why do we do it? I have made a conscious decision to be as positive about my day as I can, so I’m careful about the language I use and the language I listen to, and I choose to live this way because I can. We all can. It only comes down to us wanting to and doing so, after all, we are the masters of our own reality and happiness. The reason I radiate my positivity is because I can’t help myself! I want to share a little bit of my happiness with everyone I meet, I’m like a gift that keeps on giving.

Finding one’s self

The majority of people I talk to all seem to have the same problem in their lives and it comes in many forms. If we dig a little deeper, the underlying issue we all have appears to come down to self-confidence or self-awareness; or the lack of. I know it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to come up with that conclusion and neither does it take a brain surgeon to realise that learning to love oneself can change how we feel – but I’m not only talking about ourselves. It can also change how we see the world around us. When life starts becoming a little overwhelming, I have come up with a plan of action that I use to change the direction I’m travelling in. By splitting my life up into sections, I sit down and analyse them: personal, work, family, love-life and the like. I look at them all as separate realities until I can single out which part of my life is causing the issue, as it’s not always apparent. Let me explain; we all live our lives as a single entity because that’s what we perceive it to be, but in reality we all live multiple lives and sometimes we let the issues from one determine how we feel in another. If we can learn to become more self-aware, we become more aware of how life works, we recognise that we play a number of roles depending on our circumstances. When at home we play the role of partner, parent, sibling, home owner. When at work we play the roles of boss or worker, client or customer etc. I think you’re getting the drift. It’s all too easy to let the different roles we have affect how we live the others, and unless we are willing to recognise that this, nothing will ever change. If we are willing to see that we are living our lives this way, we can make dramatic changes without affecting the balance of what is working. Self-confidence and self-awareness give us the opportunity to challenge ourselves and encourage us to succeed where we would usually fail, and by having the confidence to ask ourselves the questions about who we are and what makes us tick, we can start building a life all our personalities can exist within harmoniously.

Blame Game

Blame Game
Who holds the responsibility for our happiness? Who’s responsible for the mishaps and disasters in our lives? Is it us or is it society’s place to make sure that life is fair? I believe that happiness is our job; if we are unhappy, it’s usually down to us being somewhere we don’t belong or somewhere we don’t want to be, and the answer to this problem is to make changes and do something about it. We don’t get anywhere feeling sorry for ourselves and blaming others for our unhappiness. That’s counter-productive: it wastes time and just turns us into self-absorbed beings usually feeling alone and stuck in a rut. By taking responsibility for our happiness we get to choose how we feel. Happiness is a choice, not a reaction to circumstances. I know for a fact that I annoy people with my positivity – it drives them crazy that even when life is seemingly not going well, I have the ability to look on the bright side and look past the situation to see what can be, not what is. Life is short, it can be taken away with a blink of an eye and we shouldn’t waste one second of it by being negative and indulging in defeatist attitudes. If you are a regular reader of my blog then you know that what I talk about I believe in 100%, not out of pure devotion or need, but out of pure belief in myself. Everything I advise on I have practised myself and found to be effective. If I haven’t seen proof then I don’t advise it, simple. How most of the methods work I don’t know, but they do, and for me, that’s good enough. I don’t know or understand how a bird flies, but I know it can so I expect it. It’s not religious, it’s not a cult or a fad, it’s just a way of living life with hope and self-belief.

The fault or responsibility for our mishaps is down to life itself and has nothing to do with society at all – life is a bitch to everyone, not just to you. We all have stuff happening that others don’t understand or even care about, but still it’s happening to every single person on this planet, and it’s how we react to the things that happen to us that’s important. It is not the things themselves. It’s there that we come back to us being responsible for our happiness, our sadness, our ups and our downs; we can choose to respond positively or negatively, blame or take responsibility, stand still or move forwards – we have a choice. I made a decision to believe and to have hope and confidence in myself and my resilience to grow stronger through the good times and the bad. We all have this choice, it’s not rocket science but it is common sense. Not everyone will agree with me and that’s ok, because I probably won’t agree with them either which is the great thing about life: we all have the ability to choose.

Strive to Be

I get asked why I do what I do, and what I get out of it quite often; when I get asked this question I feel proud to answer. I do what I do because I choose to. I choose to live a happy, fulfilled life on my terms because I have the self-belief that what I do is the right thing to do. What I get out of it is self-fulfilment. I have the ability to make a difference in the world, it’s who I am, it’s what makes me feel alive, it’s my passion. There are no excuses or barriers: if we want something hard enough we will fight until our last breath to achieve it. If I can inspire, help or bring positivity and hope to one person each day, then I have achieved what I have set out to do. I strive to make a difference, to give hope and show that everyone – and I mean everyone – can become and achieve whatever they set their mind on. Life is a maze and we can easily get lost within it, but we are not alone, and if we don’t panic and don’t let doubt set in, we can follow in the footsteps of the people who came before us. We can create a clearer path for those who are to follow. I started Byw as a tool for self-improvement. My initial plan was for me to use it to help myself overcome problems and sculpt a better existence( one where I choose how I experience life, and I choose to be positive. Byw has grown – and is still growing – into something more than I could have imagined. It’s given me a platform to share what I have learned with the world and the world has responded with gratitude and appreciation. Admittedly, I still have a lot to learn and a long way to travel before I reach my destination, but I know that along the way I get to be part of something amazing. If I’m able to share the amazing things then I will, I strive to be, so you can too.

Geraint Rhys Benney

Lost at Sea.

Being lost and not knowing which way to go is a common feeling amongst all of us at some point in our lives. We can over-think situations and create problems when faced with situations like this. I still find that when tired, over-worked, or generally feeling stressed and confused, I overreact with nonsensical emotions sending me to a place with no direction whatsoever; a kind of limbo. It’s a lonely place to be and the more we panic, the longer we stay there, exerting more energy until we either give up or come to our senses. When we see ourselves in such situations, it sometimes seems easier to give up on what it is we are looking for and settle with what we have, when all that we need is a clear mind and the belief that the path will appear when we show it we are ready to travel. Stop, reflect, take a deep breath and let go. If the path is not clear, have faith, as it will be in time. In the mean time we must wipe out all negativity that is holding us back, be positive, and use the time we have waiting to gain knowledge to help us when we get to our final destination. Our path will not always be clear or straight: we need to be prepared for times when directions will be unexpected. We need faith to turn the corner and step into the unknown, whilst believing that all will be well and that you are prepared for what is to come. Our journey can be good or it can be bad: the choice is ours. We can be patient and positive or negative and impatient, but whichever one we choose, what we ask for is generally what we receive.

Geraint Rhys Benney Life Coach

We are not alone

Over the last few months I have given a number of talks on mindfulness and the law of attraction, and how they can transform our lives along with our self-belief. I explain how we can – with these tools – make a life that’s far more rewarding and satisfying by sculpting life on our own terms. After talking with colleagues and participants of my talks, I decided to start a mindfulness self-help group where participants share their mindful practices with each other, learning – as a group – how to share their experiences. Building a community of like-minded people is a quest that is worthwhile in my opinion. I have found over the time I have been practicing mindfulness that it’s not just a personal thing, mindfulness can be a topic that can have far reaching effects when used correctly; by bringing people together and talking about things with an open mind, with no expectations or bias. We all know that we live in a world full of chaos, but it’s nice to know that we also live in a world of compassion and understanding. It’s nice to know that there are others out there who think the same as us, and want to take action in making it a better world by trying to make positive change – starting with ourselves. We are all in existence together, we all have different outlooks and opinions, but we all know good from bad, what’s right and what’s wrong, and if we can build more mindful communities then maybe, just maybe we can alter the negative manifesto that is currently the norm. My group is still in its early stages but I have big expectations for its growth in the future months – only time will tell. On a personal level the last year has been a magnificent journey of enlightenment and self-growth. My eyes have been opened and my understanding of how my ‘self’ and life work together has changed positively. I am life and life is me: it’s how we interact with one another that’s important. If I can pass on any message of hope to anyone out there who feels lost and alone, then that message is, “you are not alone”. Nobody needs to be alone. We may have to change, we may have to alter our beliefs, we may have to admit we were wrong, but we never need be alone.

All Is Well

All is well and all shall be well: words I tell myself daily. Having something to believe in and having faith are two of the most important lessons we must learn if we are to achieve. If self-improvement is your goal then these two lessons should be your main goals also. Self-belief and faith in your own abilities are your best friends; you need to spend as much time working alongside them, spend every waking minute together. We are all good at telling ourselves how useless we are, or having doubts about our abilities – we can be and usually are our worst enemies. It’s hard getting to know yourself and if you really want change in your life then then being honest with yourself is important, and dealing with your issues is vital. I’m not talking about external issues, I’m talking about internal ones. There is usually a main reason for our internal turmoil and that is us being dishonest with ourselves because it’s easier to run away and pretend they aren’t there and fake it. There are some really good actors amongst us not getting any credit for their Oscar worthy performances – they should give themselves a slap on the back. We all pretend everyday for one reason or another, as it’s how we have learned to survive since birth; we do it without even knowing about it, it comes naturally. What I’m saying, is finding out where you act and asking yourself why is the only time you will get to see the real you. By facing our fears, our demons, our insecurities, we can start to gain self-belief and faith in our abilities without the negativity of the past. I’m careful when I talk about people being to blame for their own shortcomings or problems because I know more than anyone that we don’t choose our upbringing or our social stature as children. As we get older we do have a choice in the directions we take. Life is a story from beginning to end, and our story can be whatever we want it to be, good or bad. Life is life and it’s what we make of it that counts. If you’re a regular reader of my blogs then you’ll know that what I find helpful is using mindfulness and the law of attraction. These two methods of thinking and living have given me peace, have helped me and still are helping me become the best person I can possibly be; not an act to impress others, but for my own self-belief and faith. I do it because that is the person I am and not the person I want to be. I am the person I want to be, I still have a lot of issues that need my attention but I’m not running from them anymore. I’m at peace with who I am, I have learned to forgive my self for any shortcomings I may have had, I’ve learned that I don’t control the external world and the external world doesn’t control me. All is well that shall be well is what I have faith in and believe to the depths of my soul. It’s just as much a part of me as the belief I have in myself and the faith I have in what I do. I am Geraint Rhys Benney and all is well and all shall be well.

Man in the Mirror

We walk past them everyday, mirrors, they seem to be everywhere we go these days. Even windows and doors act like them – we and everyone and everything around us is reflected back non-stop, but do we ever stop and look? We are so busy running around we don’t notice the ‘other us’ running around with us – we just take it for granted that they’re always there. When was the last time you stopped and had a conversation with the other you? I’m talking about you standing in front of a mirror and (seemingly) having a conversation with yourself or just acknowledging who’s there? What, never? Surely you’ve been stood in front of a mirror brushing your teeth and looked up and given yourself a smile, or looked in a mirror when trying on a new outfit, telling yourself you look good? Of course you have, we have all done it, so why not take it one step further and talk to them? Self-recognition is something we like to stay away from as humans, it’s easier to be what we think other people expect us to be, rather than who we really are, and by doing so we lose something precious, and that’s the ability to do what’s good for us. Whenever I have a big dilemma, whenever I need advice from someone who knows me best, I go to the mirror – preferably a large one so I can see as much of me and my surroundings as possible – and I talk. I stare at myself and let rip, whatever my issue, I let it all out and all the while staring in to that mirror. I’ve shouted, I’ve screamed, I’ve cried, I’ve let out every emotion possible all directed at myself, and by doing this I have seen myself at my lowest and I can tell you now, it works. If we think we live in a world that needs changing then we need to look at ourselves and start there. The person in the mirror is the person that not only knows you best, but are the only real people you can truly trust to ask the important questions that need answering. Get to know yourself better, strip right down to the bare essentials, rip yourself apart then put yourself back together again. It works, it really does; we have to be totally honest with ourselves when we do this or there is no point in trying, after all, you’ll only be lying to yourself and that’s just stupid. I use mirror therapy as part of the mindful-attraction one-to-one life improvement course, and I believe it’s one of the best tools that I use. It can be done alone at home with written instructions or can be done with guidance from me. It’s liberating, it’s eye-opening, it’s mind-changing. It’s You. We have everything within us to solve the questions we want answering about ourselves, all we need is a little bit of courage to face ourselves. If you want to know more about mirror therapy and Mindful-Attraction then please get in touch, and please remember all consultations are free.